


Who Doesn't Like A Little Murder to Start Their Evening

by Jas_mint



Series: Tumblr Prompts [3]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Rated T for language, aka the stuff most ghiralink fans complain about. this is for zelfi stans it's not for you, also for Ghirahim in general, borderline crack tbh, master/sword au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 11:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30105228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jas_mint/pseuds/Jas_mint
Summary: "I bet you can't hit that tree from all the way over here" turns into "is it considered murder if it's a plant" and next thing he knows Link's got a dead (possibly) kikwi on his kitchen floor.
Relationships: Fi & Link (Legend of Zelda), Fi/Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Ghirahim & Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Ghirahim/Link (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Tumblr Prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196135
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Who Doesn't Like A Little Murder to Start Their Evening

Zelda trudged through the muddy Faron forests, weighed down by the monster of a sword strapped to her back. The rain was only a drizzle, but if they didn't get back soon the sky would open and they'd be drenched. Ghirahim would surely start complaining about rust, going on and on for hours about how his sword deserved to be treated and that Link never left Fi out in the rain and how Zelda was no better than Demise if she dared disrespect him in such a way—

They had to hurry. 

"Bet you can't hit that tree from all the way over here."

Of course, that is not what they did.

" _Oh_ , you are so on. I thought we had learned by now to never doubt my skills?"

"I'm just saying, visibility is not the best, it's dark _and_ cloudy." Zelda shrugged, crossing her arms and leaning against a nearby tree.

Ghirahim sent her a glare, straightening himself up and summoning a glowing dagger. With a calculated flourish, he sent the blade flying into the misty woods, never breaking eye contact with her. Though the dagger had disappeared from sight, they heard it hit the tree with a loud _thunk!_ a second later.

The sword turned to bow arrogantly to an unseen audience, gloating and making as big of a deal as he possibly could. 

"Ha! Who's laughing now?" 

"Kweeeee!"

_"Oh, fuck me."_

* * *

Link lay cuddled up on his couch, curled beneath a fuzzy blanket as he watched the torrential downpour outside the window. 

"The weather's getting really bad, should we be worried about them?" He wondered aloud, looking to Fi for an answer.

"20% chance they got lost. 30, maybe, one of them got hurt. 50 they've just done something stupid." Fi rattled off, much less precise than she used to be. After the downfall of the Demon King neither had been very keen to start fighting again, so once the surface had been rebuilt and a new class of knights entered the academy, they gladly let others take on some of the heavy burden of saving the world. The hero and his sword were content to explore the world below on their own terms.

This did not mean, however, their lives were not filled with danger and chaos on any given day.

The door slammed open and the raging wind swept inside, shaking the walls of their home and rattling the shelves. Link jumped up, hurrying to the girl cradling a brown and tan lump under her arm.

"Help?" Zelda called into the house, out of breath and sopping wet. Behind her stood the demon lord, just as soaked, and even more upset.

"What did you do..?" Link cautiously approached them, reaching out for whatever Zelda had brought into their home. She dumped the blob into his arms, turning to wrestle the door closed once more.

"Hello to you too, Link, and yes, we _are_ okay, thank you for your concern." Ghirahim scoffed in his direction, but Link was preoccupied with the animal in his arms.

"Oh my goddesses, is this dead?"

Zelda had slumped onto the couch, dragging the other spirit down with her. Not waiting for a response, Link deposited the lump he was now able to recognize as a kikwi. 

"I don't think so? We didn't see what happened, Ghirahim threw a knife into a tree and then we found him lying in the mud." She groaned, sprawling out over the couch with her head in Fi's lap. The sword didn't push her away, wet as she was, but didn't look too happy about it either. 

"Yeah, well, if Mocha here hadn't gotten in the way—" 

"It's Matcha, dumbass."

"The personal designation of this kikwi is Machi." Fi interrupted them, though the name of the kikwi didn't really matter as it was _passed out on Link's floor_ , "Please refer to it by it's name." 

"—he wouldn't have gotten hurt." Ghirahim finished, ignoring everything the other two had said. Link gaped at him, aghast.

"You killed him? "

"Who doesn't like a little murder to start their evening?" Ghirahim waved him off, sarcasm dripping from this words.

"We didn't kill him!" Zelda yelled from the couch, falling off a moment later with a loud thud. She popped back up in time to see Ghirahim poking the poor thing, nearly tackled by Link to keep him off. 

"It's a plant, we can't have killed it anyway."

Zelda slowly turned to the demon.

"Do you think plants don't die?"

"You can't kill them."

"Yes, you can!"

"I think he means to say you can't _murder_ them." Fi resolved, though she stayed in her place on the couch. "Murder is a term reserved for sentient life forms."

"Is it?" Ghirahim pondered, to the dismay of a very distraught Link. "That thing's barely sentient, but I would definitely describe it as murder if I actually killed him."

Fi, helpful as ever, chimed in with, "Murder has to be premeditated. Killing someone on accident would be manslaughter."

"Who says it was a accident?" 

"I do, I was there!" Zelda piped up, "And he's not dead! He's sentient, too, non-sentient things don't scream when you stab them!"

"Fi's a sentient life form. I could stab her and I don't think she'd care."

"I would."

"Stop arguing over this and help me heal Mochi!" Link shouted over their argument, rifling through the cabinets for a potion.

"Machi." Fi corrected him.

Though he tried, it became clear no one was listening to Link. Ghirahim ignored his plea, continuing to argue with Zelda.

"Besides, your evidence is incorrect," He dismissed, turning to leave the dead (not dead!) kikwi. "Deku babas absolutely scream in pain and they're not sentient. They're plants, this thing is a plant, I didn't murder it."

"I can only verify with 30% accuracy that Machi is a plant."

"60/200 not plant still leaves, like, a quarter of a plant."

"No, that's not what I said." Fi sighed, growing exasperated. "I said I can only verify with 30% accuracy he is a plant. That does not mean he is 30% plant, 70% other. And for the love of Hylia simplify your fractions, you're killing me."

"Macho—"

_"Machi."_

"—doesn't seem to be able to answer us right now, so we'll have to solve this later."

Link hadn't bothered to pay attention to their discussion. He hadn't been able find a potion (he'd need to restock up in Skyloft. given how prone to injury the four of them were, to be without one was asking for trouble) and stopped his frantic searching, kneeling next to the kikwi to take time and find what was actually wrong with him. There wasn't any blood, there didn't seem to be any wounds. In fact— 

"He's just passed out, you scared him half to death!" Link sighed, tugging the plant into his arms. "And it's going to be even worse when he wakes up, put him back where you found him!" 

"No way am I going back out in _that_ , I'll rust." Ghirahim whined, gesturing to the rain outside. Thrusting the dead weight into Ghirahim's arms, Link glared at the demon and effectively silenced his protests. 

"Fine." He grumbled, much less argumentative than he used to be, and disappeared in a shimmer of diamonds.

"I told you we didn't kill him—hey!" Zelda reminded Link and Fi, but Link was pushing her away from the couch she had been trying to fall back on.

"You're getting water all over our living room." He pouted, "You and Ghirahim are such messes. It's like you brought the hurricane inside with you!" 

"You are both incredibly high maintenance." Fi agreed, going back to whatever she had been doing before getting rudely interrupted. "The difference is Ghirahim knows it. Zelda, darling—"

Zelda nearly knocked Link over when she heard the pet name. As forced as it sounded, and almost definitely something she had picked up from Ghirahim (meaning it was not meant to be affectionate, but mocking), the subtle sign of Fi's growing emotional responses warmed her heart. Zelda pulled the sword spirit into a tight embrace.

"You're getting me wet. You know, Ghirahim _is_ right to worry about rust." Fi sighed, but she smiled at Link over Zelda's shoulder. "I was saying you're still in denial. He's rubbing off on you."

"He's rubbing off on all of us, because if you don't stop _dripping over my carpet,_ I am going to stab you too." Link threatened. He had never been very intimidating, and it had only gotten worse as time went on. Brow furrowed and lips pursed, he ushered Zelda away from where she would cause the most harm.

"Yeah, yeah, keep throwing your little tantrum." Zelda ruffled his hair as she walked past him to the bathroom, hitting Link in the head with her wet hat before slamming the door.

"What are we going to do with them?" Link sighed affectionately, looking over the damage they had done. At least this time there was no blood to clean up.

"That is a question I unfortunately cannot answer, Master Lin—"

Fi was interrupted by a loud crash outside, followed by some colorful and violent language mixed with expletives. Link took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down, but the door slammed open with the force of the wind once more.

"So, problem—"

_"Ghirahim!"_


End file.
